


He's Mine, You Fucker!

by orphan_account



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Harrison is literally only mentioned once, Humor, I am overestimating this relationship, Jealousy, Max just pushes a kid and yells at them, My First Work in This Fandom, NOT Ma///vid, Temper Tantrums, There's a lot of cursing on Max's part, There's no real violence, Time to take a chance, What's your favorite dinner food?, dadvid, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 19:29:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19979314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which a new kid shows up and David unintentionally shows them more affection than Max likes.





	He's Mine, You Fucker!

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen a lot of fics focused on the hardships David has taking care of Max. I genuinely enjoy them, but decided to scoot in another direction. :D

Chelsea DinnerFood. That was the name of the stupid little 6 year old that had joined Camp Campbell at such an ungodly time. The kid was no more than 2 feet, had dark brown, almost black hair, sported attire similar to Neil's, and looked as if she was ready and willing to burst into a starfish formation, floating around like an idiot. Of course, that was impossible, but this was how Max viewed the little brat. The one who was currently getting coddled, hugged, and nuzzled by David as if she were some sort of _puppy_. Now, had this been happening at the beginning of camp, Max wouldn't have been giving two shits, but now? Oh-ho, this bitch was just _asking_ for trouble! Thinking she could just come into Max's territory and steal his da- er, grab David's attention more than the other campers!

Yeah. That sounded a bit more like Max.

"Hey Max? You do realize that your fork snapped in half about a minute ago, right?"

Max blinked, looking down at the broken, plastic fork in his hand. With a nearly inaudible snort, Max tossed the pieces elsewhere, not caring that they had ended up choking Harrison, who fell to the floor dramatically. A few other campers turned their attention to Harrison, while the mischief making trio paid no attention to him. At the moment, all Max could do, was helplessly glare at the sight of David treating Chelsea like some goddess. It took a second, but, once Nikki and Neil caught on, they reacted in the most polar ways possible. In Nikki's eyes, the thought of Max being so... well... for lack of a better term: _greedy_ with David's affection, made her want to squeal in both taunting nature, and some sort of support for their familial closeness. In Neil's opinion, however, Max was just a bomb waiting to explode. If this new kid didn't back down, and _fast_ , then there would be hell to pay, on everyone's part.

With that thought in mind, Neil grasped Nikki's arm, pulling her away, and not gaining any sort of questioning looks from Max. Thank God.

"Nikki, I understand that you probably thing this is cute-"

"Because it _is!"_

"No, Nikki! It is _not!_ If this new kid does anything to make Max blow over, then everyone in this camp is going to pay!" Neil explained, groaning and pinching the bridge of his nose as Nikki took a second to comprehend what she was just told. When she had done so, her mouth formed an "o" shape, and she gasped loudly. "Exactly. So we need to find a way to separate those two, long enough for Max to blow off his steam and yell at his future dad-"

"I'm glad we're both on the same bet."

"It's kinda obvious. Anyways, after this whole thing is sorted out, Max won't be so cranky, and we can go back to our normal yet chaotic lives." Nikki scratched her chin at the plan, imagining the scenario, before humming.

"What are we supposed to do if David just goes back to coddling Chelsea?" she inquired. This time, it was Neil's turn to scratch his chin, not having thought about the aftermath. That was honestly a good question. How would Max react if he and David straightened things up, only for things to return to their tense state? Sure, Max had a history of simply cursing people out when he was upset, but when he was _really_ upset? He was a force to be reckoned with, tearing things apart, throwing around dangerous objects, screaming until he couldn't, and just throwing the worst temper tantrums in general. Thankfully, only Nikki and Neil knew about this, as Max- wisely -refused to act out to such an extreme when David, Gwen or the other campers were around.

"Perhaps we could just convince David to not be so... parent-y?" Neil suggested, knowing very well how stupid he sounded. Before Nikki could reply, Max stormed over to the duo, wiping at his eyes, and muttering.

"Stupid little bitch, taking David and thinking she can win. I'm just as much of a good child as she is!" at that statement, Nikki and Neil sucked in deep breaths, using their hands to make a neutral motion. "Oh, fuck you guys! I don't care what you think!"

"I dunno. If that were the case, you wouldn't be so defensive." Neil pointed out, holding back a smirk as much as possible in response to Max's childish groan. "Look, we aren't trying to offend ya, we just happen to look like we're doing so."

A low huff was sent towards Nikki and Neil, and the two shrugged, unable to do much else. Silence rang through the gang, before something so crazy, so bold, and so generally infuriating spilled out from Chelsea's mouth.

"I love you mister David! You're like a daddy to me!"

"Aww! I love you too! You're like a daughter to me!" and that was all it took to make Max explode.

" **NOOOOOOO!** David is _MINE!_ He's _my dad_ and _mine only!_ He doesn't want you! He only wants me!" Max screamed, pushing Chelsea away from David, and standing on David's lap, arms crossed. "If you want David, you're gonna have to go through me, you bitch!"

Chelsea said nothing, looking to Max in shock, along with everyone else. Said shock didn't take long to subside, however, and Chelsea simply hummed, turning and walking towards Space Kid. Once all had returned to its original state, Max smiled proudly, nodding triumphantly before climbing back onto the floor. Before he could leave, Max grunted as his left arm was grabbed.

"What do you want, asshole?" Max scoffed, pulling his arm away.

"Max, do you really see me as a fatherly figure?" David asked, eyes beginning to water, despite the nagging voice in his head telling him to correct Max for his behaviour.

"What? No! I just got annoyed by the whole 'I love you' shtick! Don't try and see this any other way!" Max retorted, turning and leaving. Once gone, David smirked, a mischievous hint to the look.

"Well, at least I have someone else who would be willing to see me as a father. Oh, how I love my little-"

"MAXIE ONLY!"

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope y'all liked this.


End file.
